Have you ever set your alarm at night so you can get up early in the morning to prepare for an exciting trip? Sure you have. What happened? 30 Minutes before the alarm is set to wake you, you lie awake staring at the clock watching the seconds tick by in slow motion.
Then there is the time you had to set your alarm to get up early and mow the lawn because you have to. The alarm goes off, and you silence it with a heavy thump, letting it snooze as long as possible.
The difference between those two scenarios is congruency and desirability.
When we set our goals we must make sure that it supports what we ultimately want to achieve in life and that our physiology (physical behaviour) can also reflect the language of our goals. In short what this means is, does our goal support our values and what we ultimately want from life (Dr John Demartini refers to this as our highest value) and do we behave accordingly (in congruence).
The concept of congruency is not new at all. Ever heard of the phrase "Walk the Talk"?
In one of my earlier articles, we discussed a Psychology and Physiology of Excellence. The principle, in short, suggests that you should behave in a manner which reflects your belief that you have already achieved your goal. Behaving "as-if".
Congruency is very similar to this concept, except that it should not reflect a desired future state, but should reflect and support the words we use to state our goals. Each of our actions and decisions we make should be a clear indicator that our actions are directed towards our goal.
In Geometry, congruence is defined as "coinciding at all points when superimposed". So two shapes (your goals/words and your actions) match as if they were twins.
I have mentioned some of my goals in earlier articles. If my goals is still to be at my target lean weight of 95kgs by end of December, would my actions be congruent if eating habits have not changed? Would I be congruent if I only go to the gym once a week? Definitely not!
Incongruence is a clear indicator that we either set a goal we do not truly desire, or that we have strayed and need to revisit our goals, and perhaps re-state them to be more aligned with our actions.
Incongruence will further cause you stress and likely exhaustion. To behave in a manner which is not true to yourself snd your beliefs, requires significant effort and tremendous energy.
Remember the idea is not simply to act according to something you wrote down (pretending to be what you are not), but to let your actions reflect what you believe you will achieve (physiology of excellence). So if you have to force yourself to behave in a certain way to support your stated goal, perhaps you need to look at your goal again, and assess what you truly want, and restate your goal.
A Biblical View
The first time I heard the term "We stand in agreement" I simply took it that I agree with what a specific verse said. Thou shall not steal, thou shall not covet, etc. To be in true agreement to God's word is a bit more complex.
1 John 3:21 - Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from Him anything we ask, because we keep His commands and do what pleases Him.
Standing in true agreement with God's Word demands more than a nod and raised hand during church and the "Amen Brother!" that resounds when your pastor speaks the truth and you can feel it in your bones.
Standing in agreement means that you reflect that which you believe. We are in agreement with the Holy Spirit that lives in us. If we are in true agreement with God's Word, we reflect God's Word in our actions. When we are in true agreement, there is no need to quote scripture because it can be seen in us.
When we act out-side agreement with God's Word and The Holy Spirit, we feel convicted. We know in our hearts (because the Holy Spirit lives in us) when we are not living in-line with what God asks of us.
In contrast to the congruence we seek with our goals, it is much harder in today's world to live a life in congruence with The Bible. Modern society demands that we be flexible and adapt the Word of God to fit in with the modern narrative of social acceptance. It takes hard work and constant reminders (that the Holy Spirit will always be there to give) that we need to stay true to our calling as Christians and living a life in agreement with God's Word.